What It Means to be a Strong Woman (A Personal Story).

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You know what they say that when you get a wife, you get a good thing? Or that the best decision a man can make is to marry a good woman? Well, all these assertions are correct! However, I believe and have come to learn that the most accurate approach to marriage is that, whoever you choose as a life partner, make sure they are kind. You are probably wondering where I’m headed with this. Give me your ear, and I will explain.

In 2015, my maternal grandfather was diagnosed with an illness, which I cannot quite fathom, except its symptoms. He started suffering from dementia that has significantly progressed over the years. He began forgetting people and places to the point that he could barely talk. After multiple hospital visits in different hospitals and seeing various specialists, it was revealed that his condition was irreversible. The doctor who seemed to understand his condition best explained that there must have been a time when my grandfather could not breathe, and his brain did not receive oxygen for several minutes, which is what triggered the illness. This theory makes sense because when my grandfather was first taken to the hospital at the onset of the illness, he had just visited his older sister. During that visit, he is said to have slept in a room that had been locked out for a while.

Now, back to the main agenda of the story.

With all his children married off and leading their own lives, they can only visit him so much. As such, my grandmother is my grandfather’s (her husband’s) main caretaker. She is entirely devoted to taking care of him despite the struggle. At this point, my grandfather, with his condition, can only lie in bed. My grandmother feeds and takes care of him like he were a child. I visited him last month and what amazed me is that despite the work and the hurt she must be in seeing her husband in that state, she never complains. She is still hopeful and has faith that God is in control.

During our visit, my mother, her daughter, could see how disturbed I was, and she told me,

“I used to come here, and whenever I am about to leave, I always left feeling sick. Then your grandmother told me we have to accept things for how they are, and apart from supporting her emotionally and financially, there is only so much that we can do.”

Deep inside, I could not help but feel like I had failed my grandmother since I do not communicate with her as often as I probably should. My fear of the situation made me shy away, and I only ever asked my mom about her and how she was doing but rarely asked her directly. This, I swore to change.

The beauty of the whole situation is that my grandmother, despite everything, still remains hopeful, generous, and very selfless. Because of this, you just cannot help but feel like you do not deserve her. But you know what, God does protect His people because my grandfather has my grandmother to take care of him. And she has people who support and care for her, even though I feel that what we do is still not enough. But as she remains hopeful and strong, so do we.

So, you know how people call famous people their heroes; my grandmother is mine. Because she is quite literally the strongest woman I know.

❤❤❤❤

Nyambura Macharia.