On 8th December 2017, I graduated from Egerton University, Njoro, with a bachelor’s degree in Agribusiness Management. Honestly, it was one of the happiest days of my life. Even more interesting was that it was quite an eventful day, and not so much about the graduation, but other stuff.
The first thing that made the day very special to me was graduating yes. Graduating in Egerton is so tricky that students joke that, “Egerton ni kama Illuminati, ukiingia hakuna kutoka.” About a month to the graduation, I had learnt that I was not on the graduation list. The worst bit is that I had a missing mark for my field attachment, a unit that is covered during the third year; and, needless to say, a “giant” unit. I don’t understand how I ended up with a missing mark, but that almost made me miss the graduation. Lucky for me, I knew and was slightly acquainted to the lecturer who had done my assessment. So, it was easier to find him, and that is how I got my marks reinstated.
Back to the actual graduation day….
I had on my most expensive hairstyle, and I had bought a red pair of heels for the occasion. Of course, I also had a spare pair of red sandals. Also, remember I had two dresses, one that my mum had bought me, and one I that I gifted myself for my graduation-These were the dresses that kicked off my now thriving relationship with dresses. Also, my mother and I had rented a kindergarten graduation gown for my Leroy to wear so we would match, me in mine and him in a tiny one. As you can expect the gown was oversized for him, but still, it worked.
Before my parents arrived, I was introduced to my now mother-in-law. At that time, I was so nervous that I didn’t know what to do with my hands.
On the bright side, I was not the only one who was in an uncomfortable state. She was not only meeting me for the first time but also her 2-year old grandson, whom until that point she did not know existed. She was evidently sweating, but I cannot quite describe the emotions on her face; I think confusion and disbelief would do. As she held her grandson, my legs started to wobble, and I had to switch from my heels to flats. You can imagine how embarrassing that was. That encounter lasted for just a short time because she was leaving, but I felt like an hour passed.
After the mother-in-law incident, I went back to waiting for my family, who had not yet arrived. When they did arrive, the ceremony was already ended, and many people were leaving. This created a commotion since they were going against the traffic gradient. And that explains why it took us quite some time to meet. They got lost in the crowd, I got lost in the crowd looking for them, they got lost again in the crowd looking for me, and there we were stuck in that loop.
After almost two hours, we finally met at “keep left,” a famous stop in Egerton. My parents came, my brothers, as well as my cousin-sister and her daughter. I was very cheekily excited, mostly because of how confused they were as they jostled through the massive crowds of people leaving while they arrived. We took a few pictures, and just like that, it was time to leave. I did not find it important to take them to the graduation venue as the commotion was too much, and we would take hours to get there, let alone leave. Now isn’t that interesting? They came for my graduation but never made it to the graduation grounds.
I remember my brother wearing my graduation gown to take pictures; he did not take it off. As we were exiting the school to get my stuff and meet the others at the agreed point, a lady stopped us asking him for directions to some building in the school. Ironic right? 😂😂😂 Of course, it was I who gave her the directions, and we got going.
It took us all about an hour to reroute and meet in the car, and we started our journey back home. My mother, like the typical African mother, had cooked lunch and packed it for the journey. After leaving the school area with lots of commotion, we packed at the roadside and enjoyed our meal, and soon after we were on our way. I found it funny that my brothers had prepared a whole kilo of roasted peanuts as their snack for the journey. To them, the trip from Thika to Nakuru was too long, while to me, it was just a typical journey.
When we got home, I thought we would hold an occasion, either within the nuclear family or with my extended family – my mother had told me before she would buy me a cake – but my father had other plans, which were no plan at all. According to him, hosting a graduation party was a terrible upcoming culture he was not ready to endow. When people invited others for graduation parties, they expected donations, mainly in the form of money. So he asked, “why do you need people to come to give you money? You are not a charity case, and you have no school fees arrears. Then in a few years, people will start owning your success because they gave you money. If you want a party, get a job, then do it as a thanksgiving, expecting nothing in return. Or you could go back for your masters, then, I can hold the party for you.”
I must admit, I was bummed out, and I did not wholly agree with him. However, my mother told me I could take professional photos with my gown and frame it for memory, but I never did. So that was it; my graduation ended on that journey back home.
Four years later, I am glad it ended that way. I have never found a formal job as “the society” would have expected. Therefore, I know (from the experiences of some of the people we graduated together with) that if I had gone through with the party, I would be dealing with the societal pressure. People saying that even after making a fuss about my graduation I never got a job or looked for one. Also, I never have to feel like I owe anyone an explanation of what I do nor will I owe them my success. Who knew a party, or lack thereof, would free someone?
❤❤❤❤
Nyambura Macharia
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