Whenever we think about impactful relationships, we often picture the ones that span years—marriages, lifelong friendships, or decades-long partnerships. Unfortunately, society tends to glorify longevity, treating it as the ultimate proof that a relationship was “successful,” particularly for women. But the truth is, some of the most transformative relationships for the contemporary woman aren’t the ones that last forever but the ones that arrive unexpectedly, change us deeply, more often feel like a maze, and leave before we ever imagined they would.
Impact Is Not Measured by Duration
A short-term relationship can sometimes teach us more than a long-term one. Whether it lasts a few weeks, months, or a couple of years, it can catalyze personal growth. These relationships often come with an intensity that forces us to confront ourselves, our fears, desires, and boundaries, faster than we might in a slow-burning connection. For example, you might meet a guy that loves you in a way that you have never been loved before, one that helps you see your value and pushes and inspires you to pursue your dreams and passions, and whether the relationship ends in three months or five months, the impact they made in your life lives on. Arguably, the sole purpose of this person in your life was to help you see your career path better, to help you see just how much potential you have. And as ironic as this is, the hurt you feel after losing them could be the final flame that fuels you to pursue your goals even more to prove that you can.
Examples from Real Contemporary Women
Daisy was dating this man for around 5 months. Within these five months, this man pushed her to pursue her career in affiliate marketing. He linked her to people who could train her and always talked life into her. He constantly reminded her that she could do anything she put her mind to, and she just needed to start despite the many barriers, seeing that she was a wife and mother of three, and juggling was hectic. Yes, she had a relationship with the man while they were both married (We Listen and We don’t judge). After around 5 months, they both unanimously decided to end their relationship and focus on fixing their respective marriages. Despite their relationship being so short-lived, Daisy got a glimpse of what it felt like for a man to care enough for you that he wants you to have self-growth, and she has never looked back since. She continued to pursue her career, and ultimately got a life of her own outside her marriage, which radiated in the way she walked, talked, and carried herself. If you ask her, those five months meant more to her than her 13-year-old marriage, where her husband only saw her as her “servant.”
After leaving a 7-year relationship, Lilian met and started dating this guy she never expected to like, let alone love. He was not typically her type, but there was something very intriguing about him. She enjoyed their conversations, his way of thinking, and always said that she felt like the man could see her soul. Just like in the case of Daisy, this man helped Lilian see herself in ways she never did before. He was intentional about nudging her in the right direction with her career. He cared for her and almost worshipped the ground she walked on. Unfortunately, the relationship ended after 8 months when she learnt that he was married, and she just could not get over the idea of being the side woman, or the second wife he wanted her to be. So, as much as she loved him, she was forced to leave the relationship because she could not get past the sadness of feeling like a second option. Nonetheless, one thing is for sure that she never doubted even for a second that this man adored her. So, despite it being a short relationship, she says that her biggest lesson was that two truths can exist at the same time. A man can love you and still love another woman. And most importantly, love is not enough to sustain a relationship. Other crucial factors are arguably more important as they are the ones that sustain the love. Because as much as she loved the man, it was not enough for her to look past her virtues, and so she had to leave, believing that she would find a man who loved her and all other facets aligned—but also comfortable with the truth that it might never happen.
Short-Term Does Not Necessarily Mean Shallow
One of the biggest beliefs is that misconceptions is that short relationships are “flings” with no emotional depth. While this is true in some cases, short-term relationships could also have some of the deepest connections form in a woman’s life. When you meet someone during a pivotal period in your life—maybe after a big change, for example, after a long-term relationship, during a vulnerable phase like after losing your job, or in the middle of self-discovery, like starting your own business—the relationship can feel more profound because of the timing.
Such relationships often leave vital emotional imprints, mostly for the rest of your life:
- They can challenge your entire perspective about life.
- They can reignite hope after heartbreak.
- They can remind you of your worth.
- They teach you what to never tolerate
Seasons Have Their Purpose
Just like some friendships fade after serving their purpose, romantic relationships can have a “season.” Sometimes, a person comes into your life to guide you through a transition, to help you see yourself more clearly, or to remind you of the joy you’re capable of feeling. At the same time, short-term relationships can be the worst you’ve ever endured. This could be you as a woman, feeling and knowing that a man is just taking advantage of you. While this might be hard and sad, especially when you thought you had finally found your person, after it ends, you regain your self-worth. And with this, you become stronger, you know what to tolerate and how to enforce your boundaries. You learn how to dissociate yourself from situations that do not serve you. And afterwards, you learn to walk into relationships with your eyes open, asking all the important questions.
“Is this relationship serving me? I’m I getting what I want?”
And once this mindset kicks in, you can avoid getting yourself in similar situations.
So, no matter how much you thought you were in love during those 4 months, or how wasted you felt after your 8-month situationship ended, that was exactly what you needed at that particular point in time.
I appreciate your unique perspective on this.
Such a thoughtful and well-researched piece. Thank you.
This made me rethink some of my assumptions. Really valuable post.
This post cleared up so many questions for me.
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