The Contemporary Woman

Category: 2023

  • The Phases of the Menstrual Cycle, their Impacts on Women’s Moods and Emotions and How Best to Deal with them.

    May is the menstrual month and as we come to an end, I realize that while some people know about menstruation and the hygienic requirements as well as the pain that comes with it, there isn’t adequate information on the general cycle of menstruation. Did you know the menstrual cycle has four specific stages which are the highest determinants of your moods and general feeling throughout the month? You didn’t? Believe it or not, you are part of the majority.

     Oh, you did? That’s good, but I bet you could use a refresher, and deeper information on these stages while we educate those who did not. In this article, we delve into the four stages of the menstrual cycle and their impact on women’s moods and emotions. By understanding these physiological and psychological changes, women can gain insights into their emotional well-being throughout the month.

    The menstrual cycle is a complex and natural process that occurs in women of reproductive age. It typically lasts for about 28 days, although variations are common. While we are all taught this, we are just but told that during our periods, we will experience mood swings, or that a few days before your menses come, you may find yourself overly emotional and crying from the tiniest of things. But nobody every really explains the hormonal and psychological changes that result in these changes. Fortunately, we are getting more empowered, curious, and ready to remove discuss openly and widely the issues impacting women, including the four distinct phases of menstruation and the exact impact each has. This cycle encompasses four distinct phases, each characterized by unique hormonal fluctuations and physiological changes.

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    1. Menstruation Phase (Day 1-5)

    The menstrual phase marks the beginning of the menstrual cycle. This is the most popular menstrual phase because of the flow which makes is hard to miss, literally.  During this stage, hormone levels, particularly estrogen and progesterone, are at their lowest. This dip in emotions is exactly why you (we) are moody, sad, irritably and or highly sensitive. Menstruation also comes with physical discomfort, such as cramps, bloating, and fatigue, and diarrhea which causes even more irritability.  

    2. Follicular Phase (Day 6-14)

    After the menstrual phase follows the follicular phase. During this phase, the pituitary gland releases follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH), which triggers the growth of follicles in the ovaries. These follicles produce estrogen, leading to the thickening of the uterine lining. As estrogen levels rise, women often experience a surge in energy, improved concentration, and an overall positive mood. This phase is commonly associated with a sense of renewed vitality and increased sociability. Needless to say, this is my favorite phase, and possibly every women’s favorite phase. Because not only do we have more estrogen levels which boost our moods, but we are also experiencing the joy and relief from the nightmare that is menstruation.

    3. Ovulation (Day 14)

    The third phase of the menstrual cycle, the ovulatory phase, occurs around the 14th of the menstrual cycle. However, this can vary depending with the length of a woman’s entire cycle. During this brief period a mature egg is released from the ovary and travels down the fallopian tube, making it available for fertilization. Estrogen levels reach their peak just before ovulation making women the most fertile during this stage. Additionally, some women may experience a surge in luteinizing hormone (LH) during this phase, making it the perfect to try for a baby for the woman who wants one. The best part about this stage is that due to the peak in estrogen levels, many women report being more emotionally stable and feeling more confident, attractive, and sexually aroused during this phase. The only down to this phase and the reason its not my favorite phase is because I belong to the group of women who experience mild ovulation pain.

    4. Luteal Phase (Day 15-28)

    After the high of ovulation, the luteal phase begins. During this phase, the ruptured follicle transforms into the corpus luteum, which produces progesterone. Progesterone prepares the uterus for potential pregnancy by thickening the uterine lining. However, if fertilization does not occur during the ovulation phase, hormone levels start to decline. This results in various physical symptoms in women ranging from breast tenderness, bloating, and fatigue. Moreover, the sudden drop in estrogen and progesterone levels results in the worst of mood swings, irritability, and even premenstrual syndrome (PMS) symptoms, such as anxiety and depression. As a result, this has to be the worst menstrual phase for most women because while it may not have as much physical pain as the menstrual phase, it has adverse emotional turmoil especially depression, anxiety, self-doubt.

    So how do we deal with these menstrual phases?

    First, it is vital to recognize and acknowledge that women’s moods and emotions are influenced not only by hormonal changes but also by various external factors and personal circumstances. However, these hormonal fluctuations during the menstrual cycle can impact neurotransmitters in the brain, such as serotonin and dopamine, which play a crucial role in regulating our general mood and emotions and it is out of our control. Therefore, the best we , you can do as a woman is being aware of these cyclical changes which can help you understand each stage or at least bear each stage gracefully knowing that even the deepest emotional pit that could come with the luteal phase will pass. Fortunately, the contemporary woman has this and more information to their disposal such that they (we) know that there is nothing wrong with us, but rather it is our nature. Even best is that we can get multiple support systems from other women and women-oriented communities which make it easier to bear these phases. Above everything else, Self-Care. Protect yourself, love yourself, and give yourself, your body and mind, exactly what it needs to bear each of these stages. This ranges from relaxation, comfort food, meditation, tough love and physical exercise.  

  • 10 Things Mothers Really Want for Mother’s Day: Celebrating the Unconditional Love

    10 Things Mothers Really Want for Mother’s Day: Celebrating the Unconditional Love

    Mother’s Day is a special occasion that allows us to express our gratitude and appreciation for the incredible women in our lives. It’s a time to celebrate the unconditional love that mothers provide, and to recognize their immeasurable contributions to our well-being. On this day, it’s important to go beyond the typical flowers and chocolates and truly understand what mothers truly want. In this article, we will explore ten things that mothers really want for Mother’s Day, highlighting the significance of their unconditional love. Every year on Mother’s Day, there is the old tale of, mothers should be celebrated every day and so Mother’s Day is not that special. Please, let’s leave that mindset in Mother’s Day 2022 and before. As from this Mother’s Day, let’s take the opportunity to go beyond the ordinary and make mothers feel genuinely appreciated because even the smallest of gestures would suffice. As a mother of two now, I believe that I have garnered ample suffering and expertise in motherhood and set my roots enough to confidently outline 10 things I believe mothers really want o Mother’s Day -Of course I consulted other mothers too.   

    The Unconditional Love of Mothers

    A Mother’s Love Knows No Bounds

    A mother’s love is unlike any other. It knows no bounds and is characterized by its depth, selflessness, and unwavering nature. From the moment a child is born, a mother’s love becomes the guiding force in their lives. It is a love that transcends all obstacles and challenges, providing a sense of security and comfort.

    Sacrifices and Selflessness

    Mothers make countless sacrifices for their children. They put their needs and desires aside to prioritize the well-being and happiness of their families. Whether it’s staying up all night to comfort a sick child or working multiple jobs to provide for their family, mothers exemplify selflessness in its truest form.

    Unwavering Support and Encouragement

    Mothers are the ultimate cheerleaders. They provide unwavering support and encouragement, pushing their children to reach their full potential. Whether it’s attending every soccer game, recital, or school play, mothers are there, cheering on their children and providing a sense of comfort and motivation.

    10 Things Mothers Really Want for Mother’s Day

    Quality Time Together

    One of the most precious gifts a mother can receive is quality time spent with her loved ones. In our fast-paced lives, it’s easy to get caught up in daily routines and forget to pause and truly connect. This Mother’s Day, make it a point to spend uninterrupted time with your mother, engaging in meaningful conversations and creating lasting memories.

    A Break from Responsibilities

    Mothers are constantly juggling multiple responsibilities, from managing the household to taking care of their children’s needs. On Mother’s Day, give your mother a break from her daily duties. Take over the chores, cook her favorite meal, and allow her to relax and rejuvenate.

    Thoughtful Gestures and Acts of Kindness

    Small gestures of kindness can go a long way in making a mother feel cherished and loved. Surprise her with breakfast in bed, write her a heartfelt letter, or simply give her a warm hug. These simple acts of kindness will make her feel appreciated and valued.

    Words of Appreciation and Gratitude

    Expressing your appreciation and gratitude is a powerful way to make your mother feel loved on Mother’s Day. Take the time to tell her how much she means to you and how grateful you are for everything she has done. Let your words come from the heart and make her understand the profound impact she has had on your life.

    Pampering and Self-Care

    Mothers often put their own needs on hold to prioritize their families. This Mother’s Day, pamper your mother and encourage her to indulge in some much-needed self-care. Arrange a spa day, book a massage or facial, or create a relaxing environment at home where she can unwind and rejuvenate.

    Meaningful Gifts with Sentimental Value

    While material gifts can be a thoughtful gesture, what truly matters to mothers are gifts with sentimental value. Consider something that holds a special meaning or represents a cherished memory. It could be a piece of jewelry, a personalized photo album, or a handwritten journal filled with memories and heartfelt messages.

    Surprises and Delightful Moments

    Create delightful surprises for your mother throughout the day. It could be a surprise visit from a family member or friend she hasn’t seen in a while, a beautifully arranged bouquet of her favorite flowers, or tickets to a show or concert she has been wanting to attend. These unexpected moments of joy will make her day even more special.

    Creating Lasting Memories

    Mother’s Day is an opportunity to create lasting memories with your mother. Plan a day filled with activities she enjoys, such as going for a picnic, taking a nature walk, or cooking a meal together. Capture these moments through photographs or videos, ensuring that the memories will be cherished for years to come.

    Recognition and Validation

    Mothers often underestimate the impact they have on their families. Take the time to recognize and validate their efforts. Acknowledge their achievements, strengths, and the positive influence they have had on your life. Let them know that their love and dedication have not gone unnoticed.

    Unconditional Love and Support

    Above all, what mothers truly want is to feel loved, supported, and appreciated unconditionally. Show your mother that she is valued for who she is, not just for what she does. Remind her that your love is unwavering and that you are grateful for the immeasurable love she gives without expecting anything in return.

    Bonus Tip

    Mothers are selfless kind and understanding, eve the smallest of gestures goes a long way. Above all, remember that showing her love and appreciation in her love language is King.

    Conclusion

    Mother’s Day is a special occasion to celebrate the unconditional love and selflessness of mothers. It’s an opportunity to go beyond traditional gifts and truly understand what mothers really want. By spending quality time together, expressing appreciation, pampering them, and creating lasting memories, we can make Mother’s Day a truly memorable and meaningful experience for the incredible women in our lives.

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    The Untold Thorny Matrix of Motherhood

    FAQs (Frequently Asked Questions)

    Q1: Why is it important to recognize and validate a mother’s efforts?

    Recognizing and validating a mother’s efforts acknowledges her sacrifices and challenges, boosts her self-esteem, strengthens the bond between mother and child, and provides the emotional support she needs.

    Q2: How can I show my appreciation and validate my mother’s efforts?

    You can show your appreciation and validate your mother’s efforts by expressing gratitude, acknowledging her achievements, and demonstrating your love and support through words and actions.

    Q3: What are some ways to validate a mother’s efforts on Mother’s Day?

    You can validate a mother’s efforts on Mother’s Day by spending quality time together, expressing your gratitude and appreciation, and acknowledging her unconditional love and sacrifices.

    Q4: How does validation impact a mother’s well-being?

    Validation boosts a mother’s self-esteem, provides emotional support, and reminds her that her efforts are valued and appreciated. It can have a positive impact on her overall well-being and happiness.

    Q5: Why is it important to strengthen the bond between a mother and her children?

    Strengthening the bond between a mother and her children fosters open communication, trust, and understanding. It creates a sense of connection and deepens the emotional relationship between them.

  • Are you feeling Evil for being Jealous? Jealousy is not just a Normal Feeling, but Could be the Feeling that Makes You

    Are you feeling Evil for being Jealous? Jealousy is not just a Normal Feeling, but Could be the Feeling that Makes You

    Regardless of how much people try to make jealously feel like the vilest of all emotions-and rightfully so-It is a very normal and common emotion. In relationships, jealousy is not only normal, but very rampant and not just in romantic relationships but in parent, siblings, and friends’ relationships. In fact, everyone experiences jealousy at some point in their lives. In fact, we should be happy when we get jealous. I am happy when I am jealous, because it means that I am challenged, and I feel that I too need to work hard enough to also have that which I am jealous about. The problem with jealousy only arises when one moves from being a healthy emotion to a negative unhealthy and irrational emotion.

    What Exactly is Jealousy?

    Jealousy is the feeling of resentment, bitterness of hostility when someone owns something you do not. This ranges from social advantage, a trait, money, success, a relationship, gamily, among many other things. When a person is jealous, they wish they too had what the other person has and may become anxious, depressed, or bitter that they do not have it especially because of the uncertainty of whether or not they ever will. Now in the case of positive jealous, despite this feeling of jealousy, these people are able to be happy for the other person and feel challenged and motivated to work for their own and wait for their turn. This is the opposite of negative and unhealthy jealousy. In these cases, these persons are livid. They are so consumed by the spirit of jealousy that not hate or feel the need to steal from the other person or destroy what they have. The worst part is that they can hide their jealousy in compliments while writhing in their morbid jealousy. This is the type of jealousy in the bible which is described as a sin. People with this type of jealousy are dangerous so much that they cause harm. If you believe in superstitions you possibly believe that one form of their jealousy incarnate is in the form of witchcraft.

    What is the Contemporary Woman mostly Jealous of?

    The success of contemporary woman is lucky enough is fortunately, determined by multiple diverse aspects. This is unlike in the case of the traditional woman whose success was solely judged by her marriage and family. While this is a good thing-the fact hat modern women now have multiple aspects defining them, it adds to their pressure since while they want the career, they also want the family which makes it even harder. In this regard, contemporary women are jealous of their friends who have achieved several of the aspects which are considered the societal determinants of their success. These include:

    • A successful career
    • A lavish wedding
    • A huge social media presence
    • Wealth
    • A happy family

    How to Overcome Jealousy

    Dispute being a normal and common emotion, Jealousy can be overwhelming to a person, even in the case where it’s healthy jealousy. It gets worse when its unhealthy jealousy because it causes enmity and drives a huge wedge between relationships and could result in hatred that is passed down generations, especially in families. Henceforth, it is best to overcome jealousy even when it might seem difficult to do. There are various ways to do this which include but are not limited to:

    • Remembering and being grateful for what you have.
    • Trace jealousy back to its source and work towards getting your own
    • Confide in a trusted friend
    • Consider the full picture behind that which you are jealous about—you might just realize that you have it, just in a different way.
    • Be patient with yourself and trust that your time is coming.
    • Remember your own value, and your features or blessings that other people might be jealous about too.
    • In extreme cases, consider seeing a therapist.

    How can I use Jealousy to my Advantage

    People view jealousy like it’s this extremely evil feeling, but actually, jealously can be extremely helpful, informative and the feeling that builds you-when used positively.

    Here are some of the ways in which jealousy could actually be good for you.

    Jealousy can help you focus on your goals– Dr. Michelle Foster, a clinical psychologist and co-director of the Toronto Psychology thinks this, and so do I.  One of the main things that trigger jealously for TCW and everyone else, is career success. Thus, if you viewed this with benign jealously and instead of being malicious take up the challenge, you will work even harder and focus so you can get the same success and be able to get rid of the jealousy.

    Jealousy can help you address certain things in your life– Jealousy can be so eye opening in the context that if you feel jealous to the point where your jealousy becomes malicious. Maybe this is a sign for you to check yourself and understand why you are getting these feelings and work on controlling them even if it means going for therapy instead of acting on the harmful and malicious actions of negative jealousy.

    Generally, contrary to popular opinion, jealousy can be the greatest feeling you ever felt! Life changing really. It is normal, and a feeling triggered by other people having something you greatly desire but do not have. Thus, to grow, put yourself in situations that make you jealous.

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