The Contemporary Woman

Tag: 2022

  • The Father’s Day that was

    The Father’s Day that was

    Let us circle back, or if you may, reflect on the day that was yesterday—Father’s Day.

    First, I loved just how much publicity this year’s Father’s Day received. I mean, never have I ever seen so much recognition of the day. In fact, I saw Murugi Munyi on her I.G page say that men needed to create more P.R around their day so that its celebrated more. Well, Of course it cannot be celebrated as much as Mother’s Day, but even half of it wouldn’t hurt right? Maybe in the future, baby steps.

    Anyway, back to my very strong opinion on the day.


    First, of course, as earlier stated, I loved that I saw many people make appreciation posts in honor of their fathers, including those who have departed. I love that people have gained enough courtesy and compassion to acknowledge that it might be a gloomy day for those whose fathers are not alive.

    Second, and this might be the most important. You know how I am always preaching unlearning and relearning? I loved seeing it yesterday. I saw it on contemporary mothers who albeit being single mothers did not make the posts of wishing themselves father’s day. Now I am not saying this is bad. Single mothers step up and have to fill into the shoes of both parents. But you see, the bitter truth is that as a mother, you can only do so much. So I loved that despite these women acknowledging that they are the sole parents of their children, they also acknowledged and made peace with the bitter truth that they cannot be their fathers. And what I loved most, is seeing such women acknowledge the man (men) in their lives who in one way or the other filled the gap of a father figure, that their children needed. If you ask me, that is just beautiful.

    Third, I loved seeing men raised by single mothers posting their mothers yesterday–I might not say it with enough weight, but I honestly, really loved that. To me, it was so deep, because it means that these men actually feel and appreciate that their mothers filled the void that they lacked from having a dad. They might not have literally been a father figure in their lives, but they worked hard enough that these men felt complete and content–even without a father figure in their lives.

    Coming from men, I found these posts extremely rich seeing that men always complain that single mothers are acknowledged on father’s Day. So, to me, the idea that some men, do feel the need to acknowledge their mothers of Father’s Day is also part of what I advocate for, relearning, and it’s wonderful.

    Fourth, I noticed that in most, if not all of the posts, the underlying message was, “Happy father’s Day to all deserving fathers.” Now this is to mean that many people understand that you can be a father just by the title, but if you don’t own up to it, or wear the shoes or the title, then are you really a father?

    Finally, I just loved reading the appreciation posts on fathers. It makes me feel so warm inside knowing that many people had fathers and or father figures who really hoisted them up and shaped them into the people they are today. Yes, I agree, sometimes fathers are forgotten. It was good to see them remembered.

    Because even though it silent, a father’s love is priceless 😊😊

    ❤❤❤❤

    Nyambura Macharia.

  • Happy Mother’s Day to the Contemporary Woman! Happy Birthday to Me 😊

    Happy Mother’s Day to the Contemporary Woman! Happy Birthday to Me 😊

    Today, 8th May 2022, is both my birthday and Mother’s Day. Am I excited? I don’t know. I mean I like the idea–I always loved my birthdays– but looking forward to the day, not so much, or maybe differently. I just know that it should be my day. I’m just not sure how I should spend it. Wait, maybe I am, it’s just that it does not conform to the typical birthday celebrations.

    Enough of my birthday, we have an even bigger holiday today, Mother’s Day. I have heard men complain that women ask for many “holidays” in the year starting with Valentine’s Day, Women’s Day, now Mother’s Day, International Day of the Girl Child, ooh and there is another I recently discovered/ learnt about, Girlfriend’s Day”. However, despite all the complains, there is one of these days that they seem to agree deserves to be celebrated, and that is today–Mother’s Day.

    I mean, I see people men allow for all other jokes except any that touches even an inch of their mother. I mean, the other day, I saw my brother post, “If I didn’t know God, my mother would be God.”

    And well, not to put this out there but once–along time ago when we still were evolving–my brothers roughed up a woman who messed around with our mother. Again, not to put it out there 😂. But you know what, I still remember some woman ask, “How do you joke with a woman with grown sons.” My point? we all agree that mothers deserve our uttermost respect!

    We all love our mothers; I know this might not be completely true to everyone because there are toxic mothers out there. But from what I know, the people who do not have supportive mothers or those brought up by toxic mothers have mother issues. Because it comes naturally to all of us that we should crave a mother’s love. With this in mind, I really sympathize with such persons, and send hugs not just to them, but to those who lost their mothers young. I wish I could tell you that I understand what you are going through, but that would be insensitive of me. So instead, I wish to tell you that I am proud of you for surviving thus far. 😊❤

    Mothers are Amazing, I have heard y’all gushing over your mothers calling them queens, your pillars and what not with so much passion. Luckily, we pick up so much from them, knowingly or unknowingly. In fact, I know, as a mother, as fake of a mother as I may be–because I really don’t know if I really embody a mother as motherly as my mother–That woman is the real deal. Most of our mothers are, and they’ve been, since day one. It’s just that, we are just now realizing it as we grow older. It gets deeper when we are trying to be mothers ourselves and realize that we aren’t even close to being half of the mothers who raised us.

    Which is why, for this Mother’s Day, I want to celebrate myself–and every other “startup” mother out there–The Contemporary Mother. Mothers who constantly question our abilities as mothers. We who do not know whether we are doing the right thing, leave alone doing enough as mothers. We who feel undeserving of the title. I mean sometimes I wonder you know how we always say that a man can be a father and not a dad. What if it’s possible to just birth a child and never be motherly enough to them? Maybe I am just overthinking, but I feel that is a thing. Either way, while we, “start up” mothers might not be as established as our mothers, and their mothers, I know we try. I mean I know I do, and I know several queens who do too. We might juggle between school, work and our motherly duties, and even just wing it with the “being a mother” but someone told me that that is what makes us mothers. It doesn’t matter whether you receive help. You are doing Good.

    And you know what, the other day my Leroy called me, “Good mother” after I bought him something. You know, like I tell him, “Good boy” 😅 I don’t know about you, but, that’s pretty reassuring. 😊😊

    Now let’s go back to just how much my mother is the best because at 7:35 a.m. (as I am writing this piece), I had already received a “Happy Birthday” text. She said “sikua nataka deni ya birthday” Oh how she knows me too well. 🤗🤗

    Birthday Mama ❤

    Speaking of which, you know how I said I know how to spend my birthday its just that it doesn’t conform to the typical birthday celebrations? I just want to rest man! Best, Stuffing my face with cake 🙂. The perfect Mother’s Day and Birthday merge.

    Happy Mother’s Day To all mothers; yours, mine, you and me!

    ❤❤❤❤

    Nyambura Macharia