It’s 22:16 on Saturday the 9th of October 2021, and my mind won’t let me sleep. Every time I try to close my eyes, my brain is just there talking to me trying to organize a story — this story. Of course, my brain threw me multiple versions of the story but I’m going to simply going to write the most appealing version. No, that is not it, I’ll make it easy for myself. I am going to write the version of the story that I can access the most, the one that flows so fingers crossed that it’s the best version. You see, sometimes it almost feels like my brain is racing but stuck at the same time. Like the part of my brain that identifies and organizes stories is working so fast but the part that is supposed to direct my writing of the same is lagging behind. So, when I am finally ready to write a story that was already formulated, it is no longer there. It is reduced to just a memory, a shadow of what is left of it.
Now let me narrate the story in the best way I know how. Ready, set go!
So, I happened to be scrolling through my Instagram feed today and the detective in me noticed something interesting. There were multiple pictures and videos, mostly videos, from already established influencers and celebrities about the Pulse Live Kenya Awards. I honestly did not know that the awards were such a big deal. By a big deal, I mean the type that are hosted, you know the red-carpet events? I should have known, they are like the Kenyan Grammy Award or something. I underestimated the awards which I later learnt were quite prestigious, and had multiple sponsors and partners.
I couldn’t help but think, “must be nice,” to all the winners. Leave alone the winners, but all the beautiful women I saw all dolled up for the red-carpet affair. I was jealous, I still am, but the good kind of jealous. The kind of jealousy where you do not feel hate, but you are inspired. I felt a hunger for success that I haven’t felt in a while. I mean, it is always there, but today, it stung. For a while I felt sad, I couldn’t help but feel, that should be me; I should have been there. I probably would have been star-struck so bad, bad enough to be hit by the good old imposter syndrome, but I would have still loved it.
It even got me thinking of the category I would want to win or at the very least be nominated (“Blog of the year,” and “Podcast Influencer of the year” if you’re wondering). And then I thought, wow, you qualify for none. I mean, you do not even have the podcast yet! But then again, I thought, no, this is not the time to feel bad for myself. It is the time to feel inspired; which I absolutely am. I am proud of the various women who won the awards. Honestly, they absolutely deserved it.
It felt good seeing, “The Contemporary Woman,” being represented, and winning. There were categories I never even knew existed, like the, “Positive Impact Influencer of the year,” and “Arts Influencer of the year.” It made me realise that indeed we are all different, and our thoughts, perspectives in life, and paths, are indeed extremely different. Either way, I was quite happy about the winners, most were well deserved. It was quite personal for me on the, “Fashion Influencer of the year Award,” because I wanted Just Joy Kendi to win so bad, which she did! Still, I was in awe and very happy to know she took the win. I mean, I have followed her works on Instagram religiously, and seen how she busts her ass off to make spectacular content all year. And I know that was the case with every other winner. And that’s not it, it took them years to at least get recognized, and build their brands! You know, the fact that I know most of the winners, and actually even the nominees, and their work, and enough people do to vote for them, took a lot of work and dedication from them.
So I figured, that’s my power! I am going to work on myself. I am going to write as many stories as my mind can formulate. Stories covering as many events, people, the challenges they face, opportunities, and the dreams that cross my path as well as that of any other contemporary woman who opens up to me. I am going to make sure enough people know my blog, and even actualize that dream of starting my own podcast.
Before I get to win such an award, I want the award of women trusting me and reaching out to me to share their stories, or to tell me of how much a story I featured inspired them.
I am going to be, “A Lounge for the contemporary woman,” in real life just like my blog’s slogan declares. If I am ever to at least secure an invitation to the Pulse Kenya Awards, or any other awards (maybe even bigger), I want it to be because of the change my space has impacted on the modern woman. So, as the first step in my journey, I am going to focus and grow this page, with authentic stories from the heart. We can start by being an upcoming blog, right? I’d be happy to settle for that; one foot in front of the other, one step at a time.
So, thank you Pulse Live Kenya Awards. For making me hungry for more— for igniting the fire in me.
❤❤❤❤
Nyambura Macharia.
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