Ladies, We Might Be Part of the Problem 🙁

For many years, we women, have discussed and complained of the injustice, double standards, and discrimination within the workplace. Women have a steeper ladder —decorated with thorns — to climb up their careers. A ladder that is built such that the society almost makes it impossible for women to climb. Still, the contemporary woman works as hard as she can to beat all the stereotypes and prejudices that come with being a woman. Unfortunately, as women, we are part the problem, and form part of the reason why the society disrespects and disregards our efforts. But that is not a conversation we are ready to have, is it ladies?

One of the biggest challenges women face in the job market is the expectation that they have to give sexual favors to their bosses for them to get job promotions, or to actually get the jobs in the first place. As women, we are unanimously highly against this very uncouth, disgusting, and self-degrading act and we always rush to blame the men for putting women in those uncomfortable and humiliating positions. I mean, it is easier to blame the men, because how dare them right?!  

Plus, men are trash, men are dogs, and men, MEN will embarrass you.

So why not blame the gender whose name has already been dragged through the mud? Before you go after my throat, for seemingly defending men, I do blame men. They are the bigger part of the problem. I blame men because they are the ones who deny women – who were otherwise qualified – opportunities because they failed to give in to their sexual advances. I blame men because they do not know when to stop. I blame them, and I am so bitter, because they have made employment life hell, for young girls who got into the job market very optimistic and confident in their qualifications.

But do you know whom I am more disappointed in? No, I am not even just disappointed, I am disgusted with the contemporary women who gave men that power. The women who literally use their bodies to seduce men, and or give them sexual favors in exchange of jobs and promotions. It is because of these women that men see it that every woman should do the same so they can give them job.

Because of these women, every other woman who bursts her ass off through years of hard work and resilience in the harsh job market cannot enjoy it and be given the appreciation and acknowledge they deserve. You know why? Because people are quick to judge and assume that they, “slept their way up to the top”. “Because sadly with the double standards in our world today, once one woman does it, then every other woman does it (it’s what women do).

Have you seen the video going rounds shared by Sonko on Nkatha showing him her breasts? In the video, she was the one who initiated the topic; she wanted to show him. It was her way of getting Sonko to get her the job she wanted. And have you seen the conversations about the video? Most of the memes now are “fear women; these people will do anything” or something of a similar tune. But there was a specific caption to the video that really caught my attention. I saw it on a news blog and it read, “Sonko Titty Tuesdays zake zaja willingly.” Yes, what men took from the video (I say that because the most of the comments beneath that video were written by men), is that women are now doing it willingly. And Sonko, has an unlimited supply. So, what to be a man means to them, is to be like Sonko.

You know what will happen now? Men will expect the same from women who want job opportunities. You know what the saddest part is? These women are there, and they will send the videos and whatever else they have to, and they will get the jobs and promotions they want. From a certain angle that approach could actually be viewed as a win. However, it’s not, and that’s the unfortunate bit. These jobs and promotions will not go to the women who are qualified and deserving, but those who for lack of a better way to put it – use their bodies to get them.

And sadly, as women, we will continue to blame the men. I mean, don’t we all blame Sonko for leaking the video without her consent? Because if he hadn’t how would we have known about it? We would not, and Nkatha would probably get the job she wanted from Sonko. But was she qualified for it? What’s even sadder, is that maybe she was but did not want to earn the job professionally when she could just simply flush her boobs and bag it.

Oh yeah no, that was not the saddest bit. The saddest bit is that, she is not the last woman to do so. In fact, hers seemed like an easy task since it was just flushing skin through a video call. Women will still continue to use their bodies to get jobs and promotions. And men will continue to expect the same. And the cycle will never be broken; that will be the norm if it already isn’t. Woe unto you ladies who choose to uphold your dignity and self-worth and actually earn your jobs and titles, you’re in for a tough ride. However, you are the real deal. Because you will endure the struggle, and have absolute pride in not only your achievements, but also, you (we) are the strong women striving to change the narrative.

But I know that there are some women who would not agree with me. And being that we are walking in a grey area, and this is a lounge for the contemporary woman, I would love to hear it from their perspective.

❤️❤️❤️❤️


Nyambura Macharia

Comments

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