Childbirth is Rosy, but Roses have Thorns too ;(

Can we talk about how social media is portraying childbirth to be so easy and rosy?

I don’t understand why vloggers and influencers are working so hard to show how, easy, fast, and painless their childbirth was. I’m like come on, I thought that was the only thing we agreed as women? Just how devastating and excruciating childbirth can get. If anything, I think they should exaggerate on how terrible it is. I mean, women lose their lives in labor!

When I had Leroy, I was completely clueless about childbirth or children. I remember going to the hospital thinking, Thank God, it’s now over. After the baby is born, my life will immediately go back to normal. But no, that wasn’t the case at all—In fact, very far from it. I do not want to address labor pains because we have all been told how painful it is, and that we are all prepared for. What no one tells is what happens after the baby is born. Because the legend goes that, as soon as the baby is born, the pain magically disappears—very cute of a story.

But what exactly happens? After the baby was born, there is that shivering that nobody tells us about, and the acute hunger, and general body weakness. But that’s not what I want to address either. My intention is to address the healing process after leaving the hospital—that I didn’t know existed. I really thought after the baby was born that was it. Woe unto me because, Wueh! Those were some tough days.

The first day the pain was tolerable, my body was numb, I guess, because that seems like the only logical explanation. Then came the second day and I try to wake up and I seriously cannot. I felt like I had been in a road accident and every bone on my body was broken—no exaggeration. But I would struggle and use all the energy I had to literally pick myself up. It was an entire process stages that had a literal chronological order. First, pick my head, then the upper part of my body and sit. Then twist my legs to the edge of the bed then slooooowly get up with my hands getting support from the bed.

Once I was up, now getting back on the bed was a problem because sitting down was another huge task. Again, I had to sit very slowly clenching your entire body and supporting your hands on the bed so you can feel as little pain as possible (which is still a lot)

Let me not get started on the constipation because what the hell was that?!

And then there is the famous, “you have to sit on hot salty water for your stitches to heal faster.” Do you have any idea how painful that is? When even bending is a problem? And doctors just tell you to do it like it is the easiest thing. Like, give me a heads up Doc! What about the denial and depression that comes crawling? The self-loathing? Because I thought I was crazy when my stomach turned pitch black and I was not sure whether it happens to everyone else, or if it would ever resume its typical color.

And lest I forget the mother of them all, breastfeeding! You know the first few days, cracked and scaly nipples, sometimes oozing blood instead of milk. But you are a mother now, you must endure to feed your baby. Because if you don’t, that little creature will scream and almost drive you insane, as if you already aren’t.

You know because of all this some women get postpartum depression so bad that they get suicidal, hate their babies, and even try to harm and or kill them?

So no, you can’t get a baby and continue with life like nothing happened. I bet those influencers sleep the whole day and just “lift” themselves up to take pictures or a video for 20 minutes. I don’t blame them, that is their work, that is how they earn their living. But trying to make the rest of us feel like only we are exaggerating and theirs was easier, that I disagree.

Worse is the peer pressure to normalize bouncing back after childbirth. I mean, naturally,the belly takes time to shrink back, and it should be that way. Why would you expect a belly that grew in a span of 9 months to shrink in a week? That is just unrealistic and honestlyubderrrates the whole idea of pregnancy and life bearing. Honestly, why not depict pregnancy and childbirth as candidly as possible?

So you see such posts, about how childbirth is all rosy, do not believe them. Roses have thorns, and they really sting! But that is the prize you must pay to enjoy the “Rose”

You know to date, when people ask that nosy and wrong question of why haven’t you got another baby yet, Leroy is old enough now. My answer is always—bado sijai pona, 😂😂😂😂

Yes, I have never healed.

❤❤❤❤

Nyambura Macharia