After sixteen long years without attending a wedding, this past December, I attended my cousin-sister’s wedding. It was such a lively and beautiful wedding! The unbelievable thing about the wedding is that it was planned at the very last minute. We even joked about how the committee had only two members 😂— the bride, and ‘‘Short Joyce’’ (we are 5 Joyce(s) Nyambu the First, Joyce Murimi, Pretty Joyce, Me, and Short Joyce; but that’s a story for another day)
You know those stories you always hear about how fundis will frustrate you? I finally had an experience of my own.
The day before the wedding, we went to pick our bridesmaids’ dresses. Being a jubilee wedding, we had chosen Kitenge fits to be unique. Oh, and yes, it worked! When we got to the fundis we had trusted with the dresses, we were utterly surprised.
Make no mistake, saying that we were utterly surprised is a serious understatement. Three dresses were complete and done well (though not to our expectations) but my dress couldn’t have been further from the design I wanted. As if that was not enough, it wouldn’t even fit me! The grudgingly annoying thing is that one of the girls who worked at the shop implied that I was the one wearing it wrong! Let’s give her a name, she seemed like a Pamela. So, Pamela insisted on trying to (allegedly) help me wear it “right”. Now have you ever been suffocated by a dress and you can’t take it out?! That was me at that moment. Thanks Pamela, but you almost choked me to death with a dress! You probably wouldn’t believe me when I say that that was not the worst-case scenario but it really wasn’t. One dress was not made and the fundis didn’t know it! They literally took ‘‘Pretty Joyce’s’’ measurements then, and started looking for her Kitenge fabric. Ooh, you’re wondering what time it was for us to cause an uproar. It was almost 5. p.m., on the eve of the wedding! 😂
And while we were all panicking, the main fundi in the shape asked, ‘‘si bora ikue ready before harusi?’’ And yes, that was it, and fortunately yes, she did deliver. We picked the dresses at around 10 a.m., and they were ready! And now that that stress was done, it was time for the much-anticipated wedding.
The wedding took place in St. Thomas A.C.K Huruma with a total of three couples. Now let me tell you the pros and cons of a jubilee wedding. Now I know that the obvious pro everyone knows about is on the aspect of money and you are right. Jubilee weddings are a great way of having a budget wedding. For example, at the wedding I attended, the church funded the food, which was a great save for the couples. But then again, one of the couples who had the wedding had their private reception at a different venue so they did not conduct the wedding because of the budget savings. Still, I would never have known about that had I not been told so it is really not on the list of the pros I observed.
Now to the pros, I observed,
You know the saying, ‘‘The more the merrier?’’ Yeah, that’s true! The wedding had three couples so more attendees from their various families. Imagine having three entrances in three different songs, dances, and bridesmaids in different outfits, how beautiful is that?
The second pro, the occasion was indeed a celebration of love. We went to the wedding for our couple-Nyambura and Njihia-but that did not mean that we did not celebrate with the other couples. We cheered just as much when it was their turn to perform, give out their vows, dances, and speeches. And vice versa was true, at the end of the wedding, there was a surprise birthday celebration for Njihia (Nyambura the bride had secretly organized and got the cake) and you should have seen how the other couple and their people sang along!
The third pro is quite an interesting one and might seem far-fetched but here it is. I believe the wedding gave the couples confidence. If you ask me, a wedding is more like a performance. The couple getting married is literally on a stage performing to a huge crowd. This can cause them serious stage fright, especially when they are naturally shy. In a jubilee wedding like Nyambura’s, there are several couples at the stage which could ease up on the stage fright. At the beginning of the wedding, our Nyambura was extremely shy, and so was the other bride I kept tabs on, Lucy. (I have to say, Lucy was such a happy bride. She could not wipe off the smile of her face which was just so beautiful) However, as the wedding continued, they gave each other confidence, stopped being shy, and gave us quite a show dancing.
The last pro I observed, no one can argue with – the wedding was a great way for people to appreciate different tribes and their cultures. You know that bride I enjoyed watching, the one with the permanent smile? She and her husband were Luo. Nyambura and the third couple (the Munenes) were Kikuyu. Now back to Lucy and her people, they played really beautiful Luo songs when it was their turn to perform. And the way her people danced, you just found yourself swaying and dancing, even when you could not understand the music. I remember seeing my cousin on one of the ‘‘dancing circles’’ of Lucy’s people and she said, ‘‘Nī gūtahwo’’. Directly translated, this means ‘‘I was scooped’’ which is the best way to say she simply got swayed.
Now to the cons,
I only observed two cons, which unfortunately are huge deal breakers to a Jubilee Wedding.
First, there is a lack of privacy. The main con of a jubilee wedding is that it is not private. You have to share your special day with other couples and their people. So, if you don’t view it with a ‘‘the more the merrier’’ perspective, you will find it to be a huge invasion of privacy, inconveniencing, and too crowded. This applies whether you are the couple getting married, or a guest to the wedding.
Secondly, the wedding could feel like a competition. It is in human nature to be competitive. Thus, in a jubilee wedding, the couples will find themselves comparing themselves and their teams with the other couples and competing in terms of outfits, dances, wedding arrangement, among others. In this specific wedding, Nyambura decided that as the bridesmaids we should wear kitenge outfits so that we would be ‘‘unique’’ and stand out from the rest, in the spirit of competing. Also, at the end of the wedding, I remember us saying that we had won because the wedding switched to Njihia (the groom)’s surprise birthday celebration. Now I don’t know what we were competing, but we won 😂😂
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