Regardless of how much people try to make jealously feel like the vilest of all emotions-and rightfully so-It is a very normal and common emotion. In relationships, jealousy is not only normal, but very rampant and not just in romantic relationships but in parent, siblings, and friends’ relationships. In fact, everyone experiences jealousy at some point in their lives. In fact, we should be happy when we get jealous. I am happy when I am jealous, because it means that I am challenged, and I feel that I too need to work hard enough to also have that which I am jealous about. The problem with jealousy only arises when one moves from being a healthy emotion to a negative unhealthy and irrational emotion.
What Exactly is Jealousy?
Jealousy is the feeling of resentment, bitterness of hostility when someone owns something you do not. This ranges from social advantage, a trait, money, success, a relationship, gamily, among many other things. When a person is jealous, they wish they too had what the other person has and may become anxious, depressed, or bitter that they do not have it especially because of the uncertainty of whether or not they ever will. Now in the case of positive jealous, despite this feeling of jealousy, these people are able to be happy for the other person and feel challenged and motivated to work for their own and wait for their turn. This is the opposite of negative and unhealthy jealousy. In these cases, these persons are livid. They are so consumed by the spirit of jealousy that not hate or feel the need to steal from the other person or destroy what they have. The worst part is that they can hide their jealousy in compliments while writhing in their morbid jealousy. This is the type of jealousy in the bible which is described as a sin. People with this type of jealousy are dangerous so much that they cause harm. If you believe in superstitions you possibly believe that one form of their jealousy incarnate is in the form of witchcraft.
What is the Contemporary Woman mostly Jealous of?
The success of contemporary woman is lucky enough is fortunately, determined by multiple diverse aspects. This is unlike in the case of the traditional woman whose success was solely judged by her marriage and family. While this is a good thing-the fact hat modern women now have multiple aspects defining them, it adds to their pressure since while they want the career, they also want the family which makes it even harder. In this regard, contemporary women are jealous of their friends who have achieved several of the aspects which are considered the societal determinants of their success. These include:
- A successful career
- A lavish wedding
- A huge social media presence
- Wealth
- A happy family
How to Overcome Jealousy
Dispute being a normal and common emotion, Jealousy can be overwhelming to a person, even in the case where it’s healthy jealousy. It gets worse when its unhealthy jealousy because it causes enmity and drives a huge wedge between relationships and could result in hatred that is passed down generations, especially in families. Henceforth, it is best to overcome jealousy even when it might seem difficult to do. There are various ways to do this which include but are not limited to:
- Remembering and being grateful for what you have.
- Trace jealousy back to its source and work towards getting your own
- Confide in a trusted friend
- Consider the full picture behind that which you are jealous about—you might just realize that you have it, just in a different way.
- Be patient with yourself and trust that your time is coming.
- Remember your own value, and your features or blessings that other people might be jealous about too.
- In extreme cases, consider seeing a therapist.
How can I use Jealousy to my Advantage
People view jealousy like it’s this extremely evil feeling, but actually, jealously can be extremely helpful, informative and the feeling that builds you-when used positively.
Here are some of the ways in which jealousy could actually be good for you.
Jealousy can help you focus on your goals– Dr. Michelle Foster, a clinical psychologist and co-director of the Toronto Psychology thinks this, and so do I. One of the main things that trigger jealously for TCW and everyone else, is career success. Thus, if you viewed this with benign jealously and instead of being malicious take up the challenge, you will work even harder and focus so you can get the same success and be able to get rid of the jealousy.
Jealousy can help you address certain things in your life– Jealousy can be so eye opening in the context that if you feel jealous to the point where your jealousy becomes malicious. Maybe this is a sign for you to check yourself and understand why you are getting these feelings and work on controlling them even if it means going for therapy instead of acting on the harmful and malicious actions of negative jealousy.
Generally, contrary to popular opinion, jealousy can be the greatest feeling you ever felt! Life changing really. It is normal, and a feeling triggered by other people having something you greatly desire but do not have. Thus, to grow, put yourself in situations that make you jealous.
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