Men are Polygamous in Nature; Women are Hypergamous in Nature

For generations, the men have thrived on the saying that they are polygamous in nature. This is particularly engraved in the African culture where men married multiple women. The modern man even argues that it is modern Christianity that supports monogamy while even bible characters in the Old Testament had multiple partners. Unfortunately for the modern man, monogamy stuck as accepted way of life. This means that they are not legally allowed to marry more than one partner. However, whenever the modern man is caught cheating with another partner, the justification is always that men are polygamous in nature, and the modern woman should just accept it.

And to some extent, I dare say that the modern woman has accepted this especially due to the rise of young girls dating married men, “wababaz” for money. What’s interesting is that despite contemporary women confirming to the idea that men are polygamous in nature, men do not want to accept that women are hypergamous in nature.

So, what does it mean to be hypergamous?

Hypergamy is the practice of women dating and or marrying up—men who are of higher social or economic status. This could also simply mean women dating and marrying men who they deem better than them intellectually. Biologically, and even biblically, women seek men who are providers and those they feel would offer them physical, emotional and financial safety. This naturally draws women to men who are above them socially and economically since they feel they can offer them what they seek.

The problem is that while the modern man wants women accept that they are naturally polygamous in nature, they do not want to accept that women are hypergamous in nature. This double standard results in the branding of women as Golddiggers the minute they try and date men above their economic status and seem to expect financial support from men.

But are women really hypergamous in nature and are men polygamous nature or are we dealing with aspects of cultural conditioning? It’s hard to say because there are modern men thriving in monogamous relationships and modern women thriving in marriages where they would be typically considered of higher economic status than their husbands. The truth is the world is indeed evolving and so are conscious relationships. But we cannot choose to keep some cultural conditioning of polygamy and hypergamy if we want successful modern relationships.

 If we forego one, we forego both, and if we uphold one, then we uphold the other.