Growing up, we were fed the fairy tale of how beautiful it is to be a mother. Pregnancy was depicted as this very beautiful and magical time when, as a woman, you get to carry life into fruition, endure labor, and get your beautiful bundle of joy, worth the pain. Interestingly, the extent of the pain of labor was never quantified—it was just said to be painful, but as a woman, you would make it, and your baby would be worth it! It was magical, that’s all you needed to know.
It was not until we grew older and the internet became a vital (detrimental) tool, where women would share their horrid pregnancy and birth stories, that the education system—and most importantly, older women—begrudgingly started being honest about the real horror that is not just childbirth but also pregnancy.
We are all told about the risks of pregnancy and delivery, including the fact that delivery is literally a life-or-death situation. For example, it should be public knowledge by now that the placenta leaves a wound the size of a dinner plate in your uterus, because how was such vital information denied to us? And how can such a thing be disguised as “magical”?
It was also during this time that the dangers of having a CS (Caesarean Section) delivery were vividly explained, bringing to light the fact that a CS involves cutting through seven layers of tissue before reaching the uterus and the baby. Very scary, right? But no, this was previously marketed as the “easier” option compared to vaginal birth. Nobody cared even to mention the length of the epidural needle, or the fact that a CS delivery—albeit being “pain free” at the moment since the mother is under anesthesia—has a longer healing period, and technically can be more painful in recovery because there are more layers of tissue that need to heal.
Read Also: The Untold Thorny Matrix of Motherhood
So, why don’t we discuss this further? Why are women not fully prepared for the mental, physical, and emotional toll that pregnancy, childbirth, and the postpartum period take? Why is the reality of motherhood sugarcoated and filtered when lives are literally at stake?
The truth is, for many Kenyan women—and women around the world—pregnancy is not always magical. It’s nausea, fatigue, swelling, body dysmorphia, and fear. It’s preeclampsia, gestational diabetes, postpartum depression, and in the worst cases, maternal death.
And while many women would still choose to go through it again for the sake of their babies, we must shift from romanticizing motherhood to educating and supporting women realistically. We need to equip young women with the full picture, not just pink baby showers and curated Instagram moments.
Because yes, pregnancy is beautiful as it brings forth life, but the truth is that it is extremely challenging, and childbirth is hard. But that’s the cost we pay for the joy of the life it brings forth.
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